Jesmond’s February Astronomy Club

Dear reader. You will ABSORB these words of JESMOND.  The second in a regular slot of episodes*
Thank you.
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FEBRUARY

Hello. I am JESMOND.
Welcome to the second of my monthly witterings on all things to do with PLANETS and STARS and stuff like that
THIS is February’s edition of Astronomy Club. Well, January lived up to expectation. I spent most evenings wearing most of my winter wardrobe while loitering on a hill above my town binoculars at the ready in the vain hope the cloud cover would part and I might get to see some of these “Wonders” Prof Cocks keeps wistfully promising us we will see. Gaze in to the distance my friend, January was freezing.
One thing I did see that did impress me was this great big white disk. It was pretty bright and had the habit of shrinking in size the higher it got in to the sky. Sometimes it would change colour. Usually from a pinky orange to boring white.
Another thing it did which caused me great consternation was it did have a tendency to change shape.

jesmonds_astronomy 2jesmonds_astronomy 3

Sometimes I wasn’t sure if I was looking at the same thing from night to night. Through the binoculars I noted that there were holes in it. This led me to the conclusion that it may be a flat object though I could be wrong.There were a few nights in the month when I didn’t see this disk. This vexed me greatly.
Here is a moving and GRACEFUL video commentary of this disturbing EVENT:
When it returned, I danced for joy. Well, I shuffled about. It’s hard to move very gracefully in wellies, two coats, four jumpers, several pairs of socks and three pairs of trousers. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy Astronomy, but some of the romance has gone for me, especially with the clothing.

Back next month, I feel an overwhelming urge to weep gently in the corner.

Jesmond’s January Astronomy Club

Dear reader. You will ABSORB these words of JESMOND.  The first in a regular slot of episodes*
Thank you.
Image

JANUARY

Hello. I am JESMOND.
Welcome to the first of my monthly witterings on all things to do with PLANETS and STARS and nothing to do with Chickens… Well maybe…
Well we start as years have a habit of doing, with January. The first thing you notice when practicing the humble art of Astronomy is that without a decent pair of gloves (not wool, because that makes me cry), your hands become withered frozen stumps and drop off leaving you unable to hold binoculars and that simply won’t do. Alternatives include a healthy amount of what is commonly known as Gaffa tape, your own head and binoculars. This doth chafe the eye sockets somewhat after a while, but stick with it.
Now, recent events in the night sky have included the visitation of a big ice cube that had been considerably pimped up to be the main event of these winter months. Sadly this ice cube wandered off course and promptly clipped that big firey ball we’re all told not to look at directly. I did find this slightly disappointing, mostly on behalf of the ice cube. Some brave soul [insert appropriate deity depending on historical circumstances], centuries ago, reached into their freezer, took this one special ice cube out and flung it in to the sky. Since then it’s been trundling around space only to end up falling to bits when it reaches our neighbourhood.
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Figure 1. Note proximity of ice cube to large thing
Rather typical really. It seems most of the interesting Astronomical occurrences that the sky provides are hampered either by the atmosphere hanging over our soggy little island or by that glowing wotsit at the center of our Solar gubbins. Take for example, the periodic gravel showers that are supposed to entertain us insomniacs. Hands up who has ever seen more than two specks of gravel bouncing off our planet?!?!
Ok, that’s enough from me for this month. I need to have a lie down.
*for as long as he can be ARSED

WINTERFEST!

So, WINTERFEST… is an annual wintery festival of all things splendid in local music… in the idyllic seaside Victoriana of Clevedon. Loads of cool bands over one HALF of a day. NICE. We will be there. So should you! Come along! Tickets are £5 on the day, £4 in advance. Check out the info on this here EVENT.

THANK YOU

xxxx

2013 and all that jazz (OK folk)

Hello friends

Well M.O.D have played their last gig of 2013, surrounded by smashing plates and silly dancing. 

We would like to say thank you for coming to our gigs, dancing to our tunes and buying our EP.

We would like to say that, but we won’t. 

Instead we will say we LOVE YOU and we give LOVING THANKS, not just “thank you”, for all those things what YOU DID in our company. YES, that even includes that THING you HOPED WE HADN’T NOTICED. YOU KNOW WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT.

Already 2014 is looking to be a BEAUTIFUL year x

Here is what to expect in the short term from M.O.D:

  • Miggle is so happy he will bang his drumset for you. AND LAUGH.
  • Jerry is currently shopping for new LEGS
  • Alex will be 13 to celebrate
  • Badger will shout at you even more
  • Stallwood will install MORE printers
  • Arran will reach the age of 38
  • Betty will continue to lurk, offering words of withering sarcasm

You will be HAPPY with this. 

Thank you and may we fail to wish you a SPLENDID appropriated former pagan festival and a happy new Roman-decided year!

 

x 

Triumphant Homecoming Christmas Gig

M.O.D are coming to town… There’s a song in that somewhere. However. In this case, the annual Christmas Gig of Justice Featuring M.O.D, your Ultimate Folk Band Of Justice. Fresh from an exhaustive yearly tour of various venues playing stuff at people, M.O.D welcome you to some kind of ridiculous shindig.

As Miggle excitedly squealed: “Fed up of Turkey? or is nut loaf your thing? Well never mind it isn’t Christmas yet. Come along to MODZ FREE Christmas Gig of Ultimate Justice 2013 and have a cup of tea or 25 with us, we dont mind as we totally endorce the magical liquid product known as tea. Yeah TEA MMMmmmmm. We might do some music too.”

Alex whimpered: “Obligatory Christmas Gig Invite”

Jerry threw a minion up in the air and LAUGHED

James installed a printer

Arran hid in his Trumpet because HE CAN.

Badger wrote this rubbish

and we might have a special guest or two. Oh yes. Maybe three. Obviously you lot are special too.

FREE ENTRY at the LOVELY CAMPBELL’S LANDING opposite the MIGHTY & VICTORIOUS Clevedon Pier, THRUSTING maniacally into the TUMULTUOUS current of the SEVERN.

HERE IS THE INVITE. DO THIS.

M.O.D do not endorse smoking. They do endorse BEARDS of the WHITE variety though.

Thank you The Barge Inn…

What an evening to round off a cool few days! Thank you to all at The Barge Inn for a fantastic reception. The Barge Bangers were the best sausages we’ve ever had, probably, and the ale was apparently beautiful* too.

What a beautiful beautiful venue. So much so, we left Jerry there as an excuse to go back when the pub calls us to point out we’d left him behind.

We were so happy that on the way home James decided he wanted to make his own crop circle “homage”. Of course, we found this distasteful, and pointed out that there is no crop in which to make this circle given that most farmers had cunningly harvested the crop; and besides, we didn’t want our friends from other planets landing on his head and probing him whilst he made his “crop circle”. Then he fell asleep whilst dribbling and occasionally muttering about installing printers. 
x

 

*Badger does not understand this “beer” concept. There is only tea. TEA. Yes.