Collectively Speaking

For some time now, dear readers, M.O.D have slavishly pondered over a collective noun for their followers. 
Literally HUNDREDS of seconds have been mindlessly wasted on this subject. This was occurring whilst Jerry catalogued all the LITTLE spiders in a DARK CORNER, being the PRINCE OF EVIL that he has lately and SURELY become.

It may surprise you to LEARN that M.O.D fans do indeed REQUIRE a collective noun.

Today, we proudly unveil the NAME bestowed upon YOU when you are watching M.O.D.

From now on, all M.O.D fans shall be affectionately referred to as – 

THE CLUMP

This is AFFECTION on a scale that M.O.D would not normally convey, but M.O.D are heartened, as of late, by the unbridled love which M.O.D fans have been alleged to demonstrate.

Failure to revel in this FINE MONIKER will be punished with RIDICULE and CHILDISH NAME-CALLING. Mostly courtesy of the band’s resident teenager, Alex. 

THANK YOU 

xxx

 

ps keen followers of Miggle’s Adventures will note that lately, he has adopted a definite article. He is now The Miggle. Failure to understand this SIMPLE instruction will ALSO lead to RIDICULE from Alex.

Olive’s Beautiful Cake Course

Hello M.O.D fans. We have decided that you must read a semi-regular GUEST STAR COLUMN.

YOU will read this. Do not be swayed by other journalistic ENDEAVOURS.

READ. THIS.

Hello dear reader

My name is Olive. Proud mother of at least one of the beautiful musical troupe known to you as M.O.D.

It has come to my attention that M.O.D fans lack poise and sophistication.

As a mother and upstanding citizen, it is my duty to remedy this situation, via the power of CAKES and BAKING.

To this end, today marks the first in a short line of cookery courses.

Today’s  lovely cooking lesson is for the noble and delicate delicacy known as butterfly cakes

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Photo courtesy of Mr Reginald Unsworth the Third (Mrs)

Without further ado, it is my considerable pleasure to dispense my considerable care and knowledge in the pursuit of this lovely treat!

Instructions for Butterfly Cakes

  1. Assemble the ingredients.
  2. Put the ingredients in a tin
  3. Bake the living daylights out of them
  4. Feed to The Minions.
  5. LAUGH as the Minions EAT the CAKES.

I thank you.

xxxx

Well, I’m sure we all found that INFORMATIVE.

MARK the WORDS of OLIVE.

Clevedon Free Festival (Marlens)

Thank you to all who came to see us, or watched us on justjamit’s lovely LIVE web stream in the BEAUTIFUL town of CLEVEDON, rumoured home of M.O.D Towers. You are all very lovely. We are lovely too, but NOT AS LOVELY AS YOU. You may repeat this to yourself, so that you will know that you are LOVELY. Do not let anyone tell you OTHERWISE.

M.O.D thank you from the bottom of their HEARTS for the love and beauty which emanated from you. Betty is, as yet, planning to make a big petunia pie in the shape of enormous PIE, just for M.O.D

M.O.D will be MADE to EAT the PIE for endeavouring to play so beautifully for YOU, as they so clearly did. 

\m/

 

xxx

M.O.D top musical secret #24

Every week literally no mail constantly floods through the M.O.D Towers postal box. Every letter I’ve just made up in my head literally do not implore us to divulge the secret of BADGER’s WASHBOARD. 

“Where oh where can we obtain such FRIPPERY?” they don’t cry.

Well, worry no more.. here is the secret.

FILTH

Bristol Shenanigans

Yesterday, BETTY made BADGER & JERRY play MUSIC with her. In BRISTOL. ON PURPOSE.

Badger and Jerry are still traumatised by the UNTOWARD nature of this.

Here we see Betty making Badger get his musical instruments out. In a public place. Without a SAFETY NET. Without MIGGLE or ALEX to help him avoid any UNNECESSARY and UNSEEMLY expressions of GRANDEUR.

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Later on, Betty made Badger and Jerry go to an art exhibition. AND SHE LAUGHED. LAUGHED. LAUGHED I tells you. LAUGHED as her PALTRY musical MINIONS cried.

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xxx