That Dog Song & Other Nonsense


It occurs to M.O.D that scurrilous n’er-do-wells have been INAPPROPRIATELY attributing their OWN monikers for some of M.O.D’s songs-written-by-M.O.D.

It is our DUTY to disavow The Herd of such inappropriate leanings. Therefore, a summary of a handful of CURRENT songs that EMANATE from M.O.D’s FETID hands is provided below. If you wish to know what other songs are called, please write to us. We shall then promptly throw your paltry missive into a handy furnace. Thank you.

– The Dog Song. The Dog Song is NOT called The Dog Song. It is called SNOUT. Remember. You must BARK LIKE DOGS at this song.

– The song about God & stuff like that. This is called This Light Above. It is not about Our Lord because Badger is the incarnation of a 13th century WITCH called Steve. However, were he a Cornish Tin Miner (that’s an E in Miner, and no, it’s not Ab Minor which is another hilarious joke. LAUGH AT THIS), he would surely have believed in such things. Everyone is allowed a hobby after all.

– The new JAUNTY one about Beautiful Boys & Girls, where Stallwood performs clarinet-based gymnastics and Miggle considered playing the spoons until we sat on him until he squeaked*. This is called Pansy Craze. Why? Why not? The clue is in the WORDS after all. It should be noted that Alex is made to sing some lines on this because he is quite sheltered. His normal routine is to stay at home, watching the rain trickle down the window, hating mankind. This must be stopped.

– The one when Alex makes us UNPLUG our filthy instruments, and INTERFERE with the audience. Why that’s called Under The Window. We do not know why he calls it this. But it is beautiful when Arran & Miggle swing their mighty trumpets of destiny into the fray.

*Miggle is often squeaking. He does this when somebody makes a swear or puts mashed potato on their face; or if he sees a lovely fluffy cat.


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